My husband's enemy

What is it, you ask?
Bet you'd never guess a mulberry tree.

I'd better start at the beginning:
When we bought this house 6 years ago, we loved how the backyard was framed with 2 trees- a maple and a mulberry. We built a privacy fence, put in a patio, and enjoyed our new sanctuary.
That lasted a year until we decided that all the landscaping must go, to be replaced by new EVERYTHING! (When I say everything- I mean it- not a scrap of grass or rock or anything was saved from destruction and removal). We also installed in-ground sprinkling ourselves. That was a very hot, very dirty summer.

But, the effort paid off. I discovered I've got a really green thumb (outside, that is- don't ask how I kill all the indoor plants...) and Greg discovered he was a lawn man. He really, really, REALLY loves his new lawn. Actually, it caught me pretty unawares that I was now married to "that guy." You know, the one who weeds by hand and yells at neighbor kids to "Get off my lawn!" (Okay, admittedly, he only yells in the house so I can hear- he's never actually gotten their attention.)

So, imagine Grass Guy's reaction when the mulberry tree (and all the birds that love it) kept dropping berries and ummm, droppings on his precious emerald carpet. Every year since then, he has been saying he's going to get rid of that tree. And every year I keep pleading with him not to- it's lovely, gives great shade, frames the backyard in nicely, and brings birds to our backyard utopia. I've won every year so far and he has done his part to rescue his fescue by placing tarps on the ground, getting up in the tree and shaking until the mulberries fall off. He does this several times during the growing season. Once, he actually had his shop vac out there, sucking up all the fallen berries and any crushed ones. We had mulberry wine fermentation scenting up our garage that year. Yuck.

Well, apparantly 2009 was the year for victory over a tree. On the Saturday I got my office moved to the basement, he was determined to cut down (sniff) my tree. He was so anxious to get rid of the poor thing, that this is how he and his friend Jeremy decided to risk their lives in an effort to protect grass-

That's right, Greg is using a reciprocating saw to cut down the tree (he's on the roof of the garage, if you're wondering). And Jeremy is using an extension cord to pull the large branches towards him. When I pulled in the driveway with pizza for lunch, I took one look at their setup and knew I had seen it somewhere before... (Jeremy knew exactly what I was thinking- America's Funniest Home Videos)

After all was said and done, I think our backyard looked empty and sad, but Greg was pretty happy (victorious is probably a more accurate term). And if it prevents him from obsessing just a little bit this summer, I guess that's a pretty good trade-off.